this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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