***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
