I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm both gender and math confused
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
