Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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