These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
