i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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