I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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