Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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