You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
