She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
