it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
