I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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