I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
