i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
