found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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