I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
