a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
