hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want nice things and good sex
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
