we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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