I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
