im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
