I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
