dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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