You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
