New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
