After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize