Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm just crazy horny about you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
