:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
