the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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