Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
