had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
