Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
