tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
