We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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