i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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