Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
