He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
