I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
