There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
