her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
