i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
