I'm so fucking centered right now
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
