I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
