Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
