When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
