normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
