ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize