i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
