I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
