I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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