Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Someone came in the potted fern
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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