She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
