Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
