what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
