The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
