She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
