BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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