White coat. Heels.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
