I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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