Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
