OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
