there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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