are you still at the devil's house?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
