At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize