he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
