gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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