I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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